The Plot Thickens...

So it seems that someone has added their own comment to The Forbidden Sign Zone...

The new one reads, 'Satire' in fun & funky font.

I think that if it stops here the town will good-naturedly leave it be...but knowing people I'm willing to bet that soon they'll be unable to resist and will go on a 'funny sign free-for-all'.

And no, it wasn't me!

With Sincere Apologies To Edgar...

`Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -
`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black poop plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'

...quoth the pigeon,
'What...? Wait, is that something shiny?!'

Broody Hen Detente

So now we have three broody hens.

Wiggles the gray mottled Belgian d'Uccle bantam is still going strong and really getting in to it. Yoya the gray Giant Cochin has decided to stick with it (for now) and Colonel, another chick from last year, has decided to brood. Colonel is one of the MilleFleur d'Uccle bantams.

Yesterday evening Yoya and Colonel apparantly teamed up to oust poor tiny Wiggles from her eggs, which PISSED HER OFF. I was out there passing out dandelion greens when Wiggles ran up to me, clucking rapid-fire, grabbing my pant leg and pulling me towards the coop.

OK, gotta go see what tiny angry hen wants. I walk in that direction and she sprints ahead of me, growling and clucking all the way, stopping in front of HER nest box and staring in.

Uh oh. I check it and find Yoya and Colonel.  I reach in to pet them, scritch their heads a bit...

But I take too long to suit Hitler-in-a-hen. Outraged pacing, extra-large fluffing up and full-on loud, *angry* bucawking starts at my feet--clearly this is, 'Mom, they took my nest. No fair! Make 'em give it baaack, NOW!' The Belgian Time Bomb is about to reach DEFCON 1.

Well, those hens ain't moving and Wiggles is clearly ramping up to bring the hammer down for a bantam Shock-And-Awe campaign. Time to head this off.

I end up taking one of the eggs from under Yoya and setting it in the next nest box over and showing it to Wiggles...

She stares into the new nest box for a minute, then reluctantly decides that this is an acceptable compromise and slowly heads in to sit on it.

All is quiet again, for now...

Today's Freak-Out Courtesy Of My Kid

So the kid hit her dad up for a treat off the ice cream truck, which just happened to be trundling by when he brought her home from school.

It's got bubble gum eyes, oh, boy!

Everything was fine until she opened it, that's when she started doing that horrified shriek/uncontrollable laughing thing and ran in to show me...

Mutant Sonic, AAAGGGHHHH!

There seems to be a budding Picasso at the ice cream factory. Also, the damned thing stained my kid's face blue.

A Most Wonderful Bug!

The babies got their first live grasshopper today. I found it while watering and after smacking it with a shovel two or three times (damned things are TOUGH) to stun it, I tossed it in with them. They all came running over...

...and stood on it. So I shooed them away a bit and flicked it around with a stick. They pecked excitedly...

...at the stick.

By now I'm scolding them and the big chickens in the run next to them are yowling loudly and going INSANE because they know EXACTLY what to do with a damned grasshopper. The grasshopper, no fool he, is being perfectly still.

Finally the hopper made the ultimate mistake and opened his wings, trying to fly...

Georgia thought he was yummy.

But he's still young, so he didn't call the girls. He ran off under the roosts and gobbled it down. Though grasshoppers being very spikey, I could tell it kinda stuck going down...

It's A Perk!

We stopped by Gargantua (which seems to have become the official name for the giant gray house for now) yesterday to tour the back yard better and discuss the pros and cons of buying it.

While we were walking the yard I saw this...showing the pics we took to my daughter just now I told her, 'It even has a pool!' and brought up this pic:

Cue KidGlare and a muttered, 'That's not funny, mom.'

Yes it damned well was.

Just For Fun!

Ran across this thanks to someone on a forum posting a link.

Look, it's your Congressman!

Look it's CONGRESS!

Tee-Hee!

Today's juvenile titter courtesy of the Los Angeles Times, I ran across this gem while endlessly, endlessly wrapping kitchen whatnots in miles of newspaper:

You gotta ask yourself how much fun they had wording this headline just so so they could get their giggle but avoid rampant mouth-frothing from the idiot public.

Anyway, it was a fun moment in a not-so-fun morning of packing. I own WAY too much crap and the 'donate' box is filling up.

Oh, For...

This is what I came home to just now.

Pigeon Mantra: Whenever possible, get yourself in an embarassing predicament.

It's a thin, take-out paper napkin I'd given him to play with, he'd torn a hole in it and thrust his head through it. It looked like he was wearing a toilet seat around his neck, he wore it like a cape and ran around.

Pigeon fun.

The Revenge of the Giant Meat-Eating Rabbits!

This one is just what it says: The Revenge of the Giant Meat-Eating Rabbit! With a title like that, you know you can't go too wrong. This is actually a sequel to a story she wrote about a year ago for an assignment when she was in grade school. And yeah, we DO watch a lot of wonderfully bad 50's sci-fi around here. He's even licking his chops in anticipation!

REVENGE!!!
AAGGH! Run, he's on a rampage! You can easily tell this because his eyes have turned red. Also he's clutching a car and stomping a building flat. Giant meat-eating rabbits are nothing if not prim and proper however, he still has his tighty whiteys on!

Ahh, a school! Yum, he's rubbing his hands together in glee as he envisions a school sandwich!

He proceeds to snack on the building.  The 'S' and 'H' are the first to go...

Oh no, he's got Dr. Grant, the school principal! And she's 'spicier than a pepper'! He knows this, because he's doing the 'Pepsi challenge' thing between the two.

The kid and her buddy know what to do, and promptly go to the school blacksmith shop (?) and forge some weapons!

...which proves to be a gun.

Despite herself, the kid kinda thinks the giant rabbit is cute, while her buddy has somehow managed to get himself eaten, and is lamenting his stupidity.

REVENGE! AGAIN!

However, a scolding and a smart smack on the nose brings him right into line, thank God. Sorry about that missing tooth there, buddy.

This was the last page, sadly.

More Kid Art!

Oh Lordy, the kid has been drawing again...

She has THE wildest imagination, and while her drawings aren't neat, they ARE fun. She whips them out in about 2 minutes--when I've asked her to slow down and draw more neatly, the results aren't nearly as good. So I decided to shut the Hell up and let her be her own artist.

So, for your enjoyment, here are a couple of her most recent 'books'--usually 5-6 pages drawn on front & back and stapled together.

The first features characters from her current favorite XBox360 game, 'Overlord II'. I'll translate/explain the action when necessary.

The Overlord is being chased by a mutated minion in the Wastelands, oh no!

He placates the angry mutant with a snack--another hapless minion. But with love! 

Followed up with flowers! Awww...note the still-twitching minion hanging out of the mutant's mouth.

Another gift! And what does every mutated minion secretly desire? Why, a cobra in a box, of course! Applause from the half-eaten minion, even!

Afterwards the Overlord dons his...tuxedo and they go on a rampage through one of the towns...

...and end back at the Netherworld tower, where mutated minions happily play catch with the cobra, and Giblet pats his favorite minion on the head.

Yeah, I dunno, either. *L*

Lesser Aspects Of Education

So last night I was folding origami spirals while the kid played Overlord II on the XBox.

She's running around a town as the Overlord character, followed by a group of minions--basically, imps from Hell. They get into the town square, where the minions run around and bust shit up, which is, after all, their calling in life.

Suddenly she notices.

"Hey, that green one is drinking!"

I tell her yes, you have to keep your minions away from the booze unless you want them to...

"EEEYYOOO, he's peeing!"

I grin, because I've played the game and know what comes after the peei--

"NOW HE'S BARFING!" She's incredulous, things like this don't happen in video games. "He's barfing on that red one!" She's practically rolling on the floor laughing.

She's fascinated, and now watches her minions more closely. Shortly she sees one mooning a hapless villager, which in turn leads to me having to explain the term 'mooning'. *cue kid incredulity/delight/hilarity/disgust*

She's tickled by the whole thing in the end, and runs her minions around to booze it up & moon anyone who stands still long enough. I have to admit, when I first started playing the game, when one of the minions (who in some parts of the game ride wolves or spiders) would call out 'giddyap!' I thought they were commenting on my less-than-stellar game play and yelling, 'Idiot!'

I wouldn't have put it past the game designers.

Halloween!

Had a terrific turnout this year, lots of kids & families having a good scare & taking lots of pictures with J. in his scarecrow costume. Only a couple of kids got truly scared, and most of them calmed down after getting an apology & loads of candy. :)

I tried something new this year and did a 'shaved' pumpkin:

The yard got some new decorations too, although since it rained right up till last night, we had to scurry and put everything out today.

The lawn is mid-redo so it's just dirt right now, which worked out great for looking more like a spooky graveyard.

The kid got pressed into service as a model for the chalk outline out on the sidewalk.

And this guy ditched the 'World's Most Difficult Puzzle' he normally is working on in favor of a Tarot reading...

And the kid did her 'Weeping Angel' thing with great success, fooled a lot of people into thinking she was yard art & scared them!

I wasn't happy with the wig at all and the dress needed to be darker--the makeup also, but I ran out of time. Also the cool fangs we got her wouldn't stay in. My favorite part of the costume are the claws, which looked freakin' great.

It's Here!

The flowers, trees and other plants in my yard have decided that Spring is here. They have not consulted with Geraldine the tortoise, who still dreams on in my pantry. I think they're early and being most rash.

The chickens are of the same opinion, and are right properly twitterpated, chasing and cackling and having mad, drama-laden Spring romances. Also the local sparrows have started making what we call Sparrow Balls--a chittering, flying, ANGRY clump of feathers comprised of one female and at least two to four would-be suitors. They have absolutely no regard for humans and will happily fly up your nose or whack you upside the head. A Sparrow Ball can be entertaining though, as the female does her level best to KILL the uppity fellows chasing her.

Yay, Recycling!

New discovery--used holiday ribbon makes really COOL puffy Origami stars!

It's so nice to be able to reuse something that normally just gets used once and--most of the time still looking great--gets tossed. The ribbon is strong enough to hold the star shape, is naturally sparkly-pretty and is by far the best thing I've found to fold stars with yet. I've only tried the wide stuff, not the narrow ribbon yet--it will likely work, I just don't know if my fingers are nimble enough to FOLD the narrow ribbon!

Of course, the kid found other uses for them...

Mockingbirds Are Amazing...

Our local young fellow has a vast repetoire of very amusing sounds: your basic mockingbird 'twee-deep, twee-deep, twee-deep', a car alarm going off (complete with the pause and double 'boop-boop' of being reset), an imitation of an angry crow caw, a VERY fine imitaion of a whole murder of crows cawing--at a distance!, Starling calls, sparrow chirps, etc. The most recent addition is the sound of an aluminum baseball bat hitting a baseball, courtesy of the people who live behind us and their kid who bats fungo at 11:30 at night when the mockingbird is revved up and running through his calls, in prime learning absorbtion mode.

I recently spotted our mockingbird during the day, surprising since he starts singing at around 11:30 at night and continues until nearly dawn. He was a young, healthy, skinny little thing who was so bright-eyed and bouncy he looked like he was on speed and could go forever.

Oh, goodie.

Oh well, I wonder what interesting sounds we could teach him...?