Jack

Jack
Showing posts with label Hellmouth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hellmouth. Show all posts

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Pancakes Over Reno?!

So last night while making dinner, I glanced out the kitchen window and saw this lenticular cloud formation in the distance, hovering over Reno:

A few minutes later the colors had deepened a bit:

...further cementing my theory that Reno is a gaping Hellmouth. The locals call this cloud formation that regularly forms over Reno when we're in for a storm the 'Reno Wave'.

Also, fired up the ReptiPro incubator today in preperation for setting another clutch of eggs tomorrow morning. If all goes well and there are embryos when I candle them on May 17th, hatch date SHOULD be June 7th. So far I've gathered almost 2 dozen from our large breed chickens (no bantams this time around), hopefully we'll get some big chicks from our flock this time!

Right now we've got 2 broody hens setting--Sonic, our golden laced Giant Cochin and Pompadour, one of our gray Giant Cochins. Both are mature enough to be moms. The little d'Uccles have dropped their broodyness and are slowly getting un-grumped.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Marching Forward...

Rounding the far turn and entering the home stretch with the back yard! We're down to the last bank of juniper/cypress plants. This batch is harboring more big rocks than the others, and just as much trash. But be gone they eventually will be, although we're trying to salvage some of the cypress plants as cover for the chickens for now.


The ones on the left have been partially cleaned up and shaped. Today we found more rotting dog toys, several balls, a large yellow plastic dish and a child's sweatshirt, plus a metric ton of trash.

Also, I made a fertile egg trade with a local lady and got these lovelies!


I gave her some Belgian d'Uccle, Americauna, Giant Cochin, Brahma, Barred Rock and New Hampshire eggs. She has a mixed flock like ours, with Light Brahma and Golden Polish roos running with Sicilian Buttercup, Silver Laced Wyandotte, Rhode Island Red, Leghorn, Golden Polish, Light Brahma and Orpington hens. They go into the incubator along with our hen's eggs on Saturday!

Yay for more chickens with silly doodads on their heads!

Monday, March 25, 2013

Juniper Removal Blearily Continues...

I'm starting to think that this job, like painting the den, will never be done, despite me knowing for a fact that work is done on it every single day.

But at any rate, two juniper stumps are now out and one more is most of the way out, leaving one more after it in this area. After they are gone, this is where the pond, a drawf weeping maple and a big white rose bush will go, incorporating lots of the rocks from the back yard. The good news is I unearthed a sprinkler head near here today, so the water pipes are already in place.


The fun part of the half-dug-out stump in the foreground is that RIGHT next to it, in the area between the stump and shovel, is another huge wad of concrete and the remains of a 6x6 redwood post--just like the OTHER one we found the other day on the other side of the chain link, way over in front of the chicken run.

Neither of these two match up along the same lines, so whatever the Hell used to be here, these two posts & concrete are unconnected. Who the Hell plants a plant RIGHT next to an old concrete posthole?!

Which means we'll very, very likely find even more of these, like big crappy land mines.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Juniper Removal Continues, Now With More Tools!

So now the back yard is juniper free! Today was more branch hauling to the monsterously huge brush pile in the back of the property, which the local quail have decided is peachy keen and are living in. Guess clearing away the pile will wait until after baby quail season...


The trash lasagna plant by the back door is cleared except for it's stump, the remaining cypress plants may stay if we can get them under control and cleaned out. The cypresses got into the fun by yakking up another 6 foot metal fence post. The pointless tripping hazard of old bender board half frost-heaved from the ground was removed.


We even got the stump of the dead juniper pried out, thanks to a huge freakin' rock and a spare chain link post we found in the yard. Thanks Archimedes, yay for fulcrums/levers!


We're now trying to figure out where to logically put the fence to connect the chicken run and back yard, and plan ahead for future projects like the raised bed garden I want at the back of the property. I only want to place fence ONCE. On the plus side, the two metal fence posts the junipers & cypresses gifted us with can be resused for the new fence. I spent yesterday repairing holes in the chain link from the previous tenant's horses and moving cut branches, so my arms look like I thrust them into a bag of angry pumas. Today's weird trash yield included the cap for the chain link gate post, a screwdriver and a small sledgehammer in pretty fair condition, also a huge chunk of concrete that obviously held a 6x6 redwood post. This means either a gate or hitching post, which means sooner or later the other shoe will drop and we'll find a matching wad of concrete half-buried nearby. Next I expect the junipers to cough up a prison shiv and try to shank me.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Scratch one Bird-Eating Plant!

That big asshole juniper in the corner turned out to in fact be TWO plants, although one had horror-movie-worthy multiple trunks.

They are GONE.


Of course, there is a massive brush pile next to where they were, which makes my body hurt just to think about dragging away. I'm so bleary-eyed & bone-tired now, that I can barely remember my own name but the race is on to get the back yard sorted out before the local skunks come out of hibernation--and it's getting into the mid 60's-70's this week, so we HAVE to get this done, they love the damned junipers.


Here's a bit of the junk pulled from the quail-eating bastard juniper, most of it baling wire--buckets included, by the way:

Seriously, who throws shit like this in their own back yard for years?!

Onward to the final juniper plant, this tangled mess is right outside my back door. Charming.


It is SO very matted and full of trash that it's a trash lasagne at this point, you have to dig at the center to find branches to cut. I pulled a 4 foot section of 1x6 out of it today like some kind of low-rent magic trick. But it's the last actual juniper plant, the rest along the back of the house are cypress plants and MAY be suffered to live for now as cover for the chickens if we can get them decently cleaned out and given a military trim. I hate to leave the back yard bare since we have so many hawks, the chickens need some kind of cover until our trees and other bushes we planted grow.

Meanwhile, today we found the perfect representation of the previous tenants: From the 80's, a Bud Light can, a Pepsi can and a Yoo Hoo bottle. Plus assorted old tennis balls, a metric ton of generic trash & plastic...and one gardening glove.

If I find the owner of it I'm just gonna mulch him in, if the junipers haven't completely digested him.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Now THIS Is Just Going TOO Far...

More Juniper Death today. Today the kid and I worked on clearing cut branches, and cutting back the grandfather of all these nasty assholes, the one on the far right.  Here it is last June, 'before':


Halfway through cutting it out:


You can see why these are such a damned headache--they've been growing willy-nilly and trapping trash for 40 years. Today it was about 9 miles of baling wire--which you never see, it just gets snarled instantly in the chainsaw, trying to remove your head at the neck. Also a large blue ball, a golf ball and a toy car, plus the usual 40 metric tons of run-of-the-mill trash.


Haha, stupid junipers, think a board with rusty nails is ANY kind of defense against a chainsaw?!

The pink 5 gallon bucket is something we pried out of one of the OTHER junipers the other day, today we found that granddaddy Cthulhu's big brother had RE-eaten it and it was mired deep within it. Good God.

Sadly, it had also eaten one of our Valley Quail, apparently yesterday--she was found dead, tangled in it's branches. That's the final straw...just another reason to hate the damned junipers and cleanse them from the Earth.

The other side of the yard slowly getting cleared. My wheelbarrow is under there somewhere...


The kid poses with ONE of the cut-out branches.


Since a bunch of the trash is little bits & pieces of plastic, metal, broken glass, etc. we are trying to get the yard as chicken safe as possible, which means picking through all this crap by hand and fussing out the trash. One thing I found while raking out gallons of plastic & trash was a HUGE nest of stink bugs. The kid ran and got a cup, and we filled it with yummy stink bugs for the chickens inside about 1 minute. We saw pretty quick that we'd have to bring in the big guns for this one.

This called for a specialist. Bear!


Bear ate some, but pretty clearly couldn't get past the taste. We brought Bloop in, but he was fascinated with courting Bear and ignored the bugs, silly rooboy. Once we get the yard done I'm sure that River and Zip will be glad to clear those suckers out, they LOVED them.

Monday, March 4, 2013

One Month To Paint ONE Room? Yes, Please!

Arg fargl, the den is done.

Of course, I still need to rip off the last of the blue painter's tape and install the doorknob...


Oh, and unpack all the books...


And the desk placement is temporary and nothing is on the walls but one clock...

And the windows need some kind of drapery...

Shit. I ain't done, am I?

Bleah. Meanwhile, juniper death marches on! Today's Juniper Mystery Trash Surprises: a softball, a dog toy, yellow rope and the Mt. Everest of trash...including a McDonald's styrofoam Chicken Nuggets container, which they quit using in 1990. Pretty bad when the junipers are eating fast food. No wonder they are so damned big, they bullied someone into feeding them.

Now with fun 'before' and 'after' shots!

Back yard before, last June-overgrown and nasty...we were just starting that day to hack away at the damned junipers:


And after!


The ones along this side of the back fence are gone! Gimanderous brush pile will be hauled away to the back part of the property, where the local wild quail are loving it.

Half of the junipers on this side are gone, the rest fall today. I did find an Ouroborosian growth in the base of the things--a huge branch that came up and then dove back down into the earth, ending who knows where. Presumably gone to visit his buddy Chthulu. I'll bet there's some guy in China ripping out junipers and cussing them. Also a board with rusty nails sticking out of it. Haha, stupid junipers, bringing a board-and-nails to a chainsaw fight...

The giant rocks are awesome and will stay. Next to giant awesome rocks is a cutting from the Curly Willow plant that I brought from the old house, the one we had in the back yard there got massive, was gorgeous and made for great cover for the chickens, and was edible for them as well. Eventually the chickens will be able to roam this part of the yard, once I repair some holes in the chain link caused by the previous tenant's horses. It'll make the chickens so happy to be able to come up to the back of the house again!

Side fence before, the junipers had, needless to say, grown through the fence everywhere:


After! Well...partially. Just wresting them free of the fence and getting them to this point was a major accomplishment:

We trimmed these away from the fence first and discovered that when we did that, it exposed the vulnerable underbelly of the damn junipers and made it easy to attack them from the rear & chop 'em out. Yeah, baby!

Back fence before:



And after!

We're thinking of making the old water heater in the background into a doghouse for Dusty, cutting it up to resemble an old-time Saturn rocket and painting 'Dogstar 1' or something equally goofy on it. Next to the big rocks, where we took out the first juniper, I plan on installing a small pond. That big bastard in the background will be the next one to go after today. Nothing left along the back fence in the foreground but the plant bases and roots, yay!

...which I will now have to dig out.

To quote Scarlett O'Hara, 'I won't think about that today, I'll think about it tomorrow.'

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Today's Hellmouth Offerings!

Two projects still underway, one nearing completion and that's the den painting. Last wall!
Before:

Ignore the pistachio green around the wall outlet, that was a horribly failed color choice which I will not use, yikes.

The heavy duty repair job I had to do where some addlepated person had attempted (and failed, by the looks of things) to hang heavy 70's shelves.

Today was just wall sanding/washing, tomorrow will be the start of painting weather permitting.

Other project is just getting underway, the removal of about 20 juniper bushes in the back yard, all of which have been in place since the 70's and are horribly overgrown. Today's chainsawing gave us this:

A truly gigantic brush pile that the kid and I moved into the very back of the yard for removal another day.

After! I can see the chicken coop, yay!


Today's juniper offerings, a metal fence post, a chunk of angle iron and a full tube of sunscreen, plus two small dog toy-type balls.


Also, this!

It's the base of ONE of the plants and is as tall as my kid.

It was chanting "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn", whatever that means.

We tossed Cthulhu on the burn pile with the rest of his buddies, screw him.

Friday, February 22, 2013

Progress...

OK, the den painting is never going to get done, despite me actually PAINTING the thrice damned room. That's how it seems, at any rate. Anyway, today's progress:

This corner and these doors DONE, except for blue painter's tape removal and reinstall of doorknobs & switch plates and whatnot. I'm down to painting the last wall and one door, which means I'll have to shift everything in the room to the opposite wall first. Once that's done I can actually put the room together and have another useable room.

Meanwhile, after threatening it for months and writing a manifesto on Twitter, JUNIPER DEATH.

Before, look at these nasty assholes:


After a thorough chainsawing:

Granted, these two were mostly-dead or all-dead, but I still count it as a victory against crappy, poorly-thought-out-40-years-ago landscaping. The one on the left barfed up a horse sweat scraper and a bunch of wire. I'm gonna save all the crap these things yield up like some Homeowner's Personal Mouth of Hell and get a picture of it all at once. Also I now have to haul off a gazillion pounds of branches.

The chickens can see the house now and get excited when I'm at the kitchen window waving to them.