Whoooos That In My Tree?

The kid heard our local crows yelling like crazy, and discovered our resident Great Horned Owl snoozing in one of the elm trees that separate our yard from the neighbors.

This is the guy who likes to sit out there 'Who-Who'-ing his brains out all the time, so he's pretty chill with us standing under his tree and commiserating what it's like to have two crows and a hummingbird harassing your ass.

Because owls just aren't safe from the tiny fury that IS a hummingbird when you are too close to his feeder.

Poor guy. Sorry dude, nothin' I can do.

Smoke Gets In Your...Well, Everything

So right on the heels of the Tamarack fire, which burned to within 4 1/2 miles of us, comes the Caldor fire!

We had lots of smokey nastiness from the Tamarack fire, then the Dixie fire...but Caldor seems to want to up the ante and show what it can do.

Just for reference, normally our backyard, coop & skies look like this: 

Today, our air quality went to shit and by 2PM it looked like this:

It only got worse from there.

At 4PM the air quality climbed into the dark purple 'Hazardous' range (the worst it can get) at 488.

And at that point things took a turn for the surreal. Our normal time for full dark this time of year is 8-9PM. Today it got full dark at 4PM--all due to the Caldor fire smoke. Bear in mind that this fire is 35 miles away from us. The light flecks in the photos are raining bits of ash. The same view as above, out my back door towards the chicken coop at 4PM.

You can almost see the chicken coop, below. The chickens were so addled at this point they didn't go to roost in the coop as they normally do when it gets dark, they just sat down wherever they were in the yard. The kid and my husband went out and picked them up one by one and stuck them in the coop.

The view from my front porch, looking across the street at 4:45PM. Full dark at this point, the flash fired. Fairly heavy ashfall.

It stayed like this, only lightening a bit at 6PM. This is the same shot as the one above. My daughter said it looked like the sun went down and then came back up...except it was rising in the southwest.

All of this is absolutely unreal, never in my life have I seen anything like this, and hope I never do again.

Delinquents In The High Sierras

So the other day I looked out my den window and noticed these two, being very pastoral and nibbling on the purple-flowering plant at the base of my mailbox.

Which is cool, because that plant is a volunteer that thrives on neglect, tough as nails and comes back on its own after winter. I have no worries and at any rate, I'm willing to give up a little foliage for the sake of our local deer. Up until about a week ago, these two were hanging out with a buck and two does, they'd roam up and down the street. Last time I amused myself giving my husband a play-by-play as they stood at the other end of our fence, very interested in our neighbor's truck--I kept saying they were gonna steal it and go joy riding.

But then...

One of them started eyeing my car! Criminy, those little juvenile deliquents are gonna boost my car!

Luckily, they decided against it--trucks are more butch, I guess--and continued on, no doubt looking for someone who had foolishly left their keys in the ignition.

But if the radio goes missing next week, I know who to blame.

Buy Three Sandwiches, Get A Free Frog!

 So the kid and I went over to WalMart tonight to hit up the Subway there for dinner--100 degrees is too damned hot to cook.

As we were leaving, sandwiches in hand, a WalMart employee ran past us to exit the store, hands cupped around something wrapped in a paper towel. From his posture I knew it was something alive, so the kid and I followed to watch the release of whatever it was--we figured it was a mouse. 

He crouched and released the creature *just* outside the automatic doors, then turned and ran back into the store. My first impression was 'Oh boy, whatever it is, is just gonna turn around and go right back INTO the store', because that's what little creatures LOVE to do.

Then we see what he released.

A tiny, gray tree frog. 

Now, it's 100 degrees, and the concrete outside is scorching, as is the big asphalt parking lot. Lil' frog is either going to broil in short order, or get stepped on/run over. The kid leaps into action and grabs up the little guy, there are trees here and there in the parking lot and we figure we'll release  it under one of them.

But...I just can't. The trees are saplings that are surrounded by rocks, and nothing about this habitat is frog-friendly.

On the other hand, I have a lovely yard at home that is perfect for frogs...

I call the kid back and tell her change of plans, Frog is going home with us. She's happy and agrees, so she gets to ride home with her hands cupped around a tiny frog who really, really wants out. I warn her not to let him go, if he gets loose in the car we'll never find him again. I buckle her into her seat, peel off her face mask, toss dinner in the back seat and we're off.

On the way, she tells me the frog has some kind of fuzz tangled around him, so we make a plan:  when we get home, she's to go directly into her bathroom and place our frog friend in the bathtub, where we can gently rinse him off and clean him.

She dashes past her so-very-confused father and places our frog friend in the tub. Yup, he's got all kinds of fuzz around his legs. A combination of water sprinkled on him and gentle pulling away of the gunk gets him clean. He appears to be a Northern Pacific Tree Frog.

Yay, clean frog friend! Although he's a bit puzzled by this whole adventure...

...and decides that he's done posing for pictures and starts to climb the bathtub. We hastily agree (he's really startlingly good at climbing) and the kid grabs him again, and troops him out to the weeping redbud tree in the front yard--a lovely, shady spot with a deep layer of bark chips, just moist enough for a frog!

He seemed uninjured, so hopefully he'll do well!

A Good Time Thirty-Six Years In The Making!

So the old GE dishwasher that was here when we moved in seven years ago, has lately decided to allow icky water to sneak back into the machine. Icky water that would then build its very own, very special, stink. The fact that it wasn't doing it all the time, and would take a couple of days before your nose alerted you that something down there was VERY wrong, was just a muttered-swear-word-inducing bonus.

Okay, so off I go to the Internet, where surprisingly enough, I find a straightforward, well-made tutorial on how to repair a non-draining dishwasher, starring my exact machine! While this is handy, it also inspires dread--is my machine somehow famous for breakdowns...?

The video tells me that the part that allows the machine to drain is a 'flapper valve', located at the bottom of the sump--now, anything called a 'sump' cannot be a good thing in this scenario, and I am NOT looking forward to visiting it, much less sticking my finger down there to make sure it is working properly, as the video instructs. Doesn't matter tho, because I've gotta take that sucker apart and find out what's wrong.

No guts, no glory. I'm goin' in. Armed with several dishwasher-threatening tools, I remove the racks and arms--this part I've done before two years ago, taking the machine part-way apart to clean it. That's when I found all kinds of dog hair and broken glass lodged in the apray arms, which afterwards worked adequately...as could be expected in a 30+ year-old machine, I believed. I know, I know--what I really need to do is replace the machine, as it is old and inefficient. But since my washing machine, lawnmower and BOTH cars have recently ALL decided to die at the same time, it's just not in the budget right now.

I manage to get the upper spray arms out without breaking anything, and now it's time to delve into the guts of Dante's Dishwasher Inferno. The lower spray arm is first. This is what the bottom of my dishwasher is supposed to look like. In mine that big lower screen is metal, but otherwise identical--minus the gunk.

The lower spray arm...mind you, I've done the baking soda and vinegar thing several times since moving in, so everything you see from here on out is the cleanest I could get it until today. FAIR WARNING: this gets unutterably nasty, really fast.

There was this weird gray...fuzz on everything. Almost as if someone had stuffed a roll of paper towels in the dishwasher back in the misty dawn of time and hit 'Start'. For clarity's sake, let me just say that I am one of those people who washes their dishes BEFORE loading the dishwasher, I know this machine has no garbage disposal capability. I use the machine primarily to de-grease, sterilise and dry; and never load food-covered dishes in there.

Weird gray fuzz has attained...chunkiness. Removing it requires some old dental instruments I have and more muttered swears.

We've reached the first filter and the hub nut cover. Inexplicably, this filter is all one unit and cannot be taken apart to remove the gray chunkiness within.

Hub nut cover, top and bottom. As seems to be required, covered with weird gray fuzz, which is getting thicker...

By now I am POSITIVE that the previous homeowners never once took this machine apart to clean it properly.
Time to remove the first filter! First look at the hub, and isn't IT pretty! Gray chunky has given way to a layer of gray...skin. Charming.

The underside of the non-cleanable filter is everything I expected it to be.

The gunk...the gunk is SO VERY THICK. The gunk has thickness. Actual heft and weight. The toothbrush I armed myself with to clean the dishwasher with, is inadequate. I need a bigger scrub brush.

The hub nut. I'm not sure what level of Dante's Dishwasher Inferno we are at here, but let me just say whimper...
I DON'T WANNA DO THIS ANY MORE.

 I keep rewatching the how-to video, hoping I'm nearing the end. No such luck.

The gray gunk as achieved sliminess now, as well...and the smell...OH GOD, THE SMELL.

The hub nut is removed...

The underside...

Wait...what IS that in the center...?!

Dunno, but it's metal. Appears to be some kind of worn-through washer of some sort. Is it important? WHO KNOWS, WHEE!

But now I can see into the depths of the next Ring of Hell. That rectangular sump cover is next. Oh God now I have to remove something called a 'sump cover'. THAT MEANS THAT WHAT LIES BENEATH CAN ONLY BE A SUMP. *more pathetic whimpering*

As a little aside: just a little shout-out and a kick in the nuts to the person who designed this thing. When you are short, reaching the back of things is a real challenge...
This means that when you have to remove a screw from the BACK of the machine you must fully commit and stick the entire upper half of your body into an ancient, grody dishwasher. I experience similar joy when cleaning my oven.

Sump cover off...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME.

Even though I thought I was ready to see what was under it...I was wrong. Also, my hands aren't strong enough to get the nasty sump basket out, even with muttering 'Fuck it!' and attacking the thing with heavy tools and fed-up determination. Husband is at work, daughter is asleep. Whoever sticks their nose in the kitchen next loses, and gets to horse that thing out.

I think there may well be something alive lurking down there, like the garbage-masher monster in the original Star Wars movie.

Husband lost, he appeared first. Probably a good thing, since it took all his strength to get that sump basket out...and that man could crack coconuts with his hands.

Just for the sake of reference, this is what the sump basket is supposed to look like. See all the little drain holes?

NOW YOU SEE THEM, NOW YOU DON'T.

My camera refused to focus on the interior of the basket, I figure out of sheer disgust. I don't blame it at all. Let's just say there was at LEAST an inch of gunk down there.

The gunk is well on its way to fossilization.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, V2.0.

The round part is supposed to be a drain that is NOT halfway blocked with gunk. I think we may have found the problem!

Because no quest is complete without the final Big Boss battle, it is now time to remove the metal screen on the bottom of the machine.

...and then I get to go spelunking down there, sticking my finger in to check and make sure the flapper valve is working. And unhappily, that is the ONLY way to check it, I'VE GOT TO STICK MY FINGER DOWN THERE.

I remove the big metal screen and flip it over...
...and I am all out of $2 cuss words for the previous homeowners at this point and have to repeat myself. I heap imprecations on their offspring, neighbors, co-workers and pets as well while I'm at it.

  
THE BIG SCREEN IN THE BOTTOM OF THE MACHINE HAS GUNK STALACTITES ON THE BOTTOM OF IT.

This thing is supposed to be flat.

Seriously, who shoots themselves in the foot and does this to their own major appliance?!

But all the fun cannot be had just here, and distracting myself isn't going to get that damned sump cleaned out. I have disgusting, stinky, standing water to bail, after all.

Water removed, with the aid of a rag and flowery, exotic, elaborate cussing.
Even after scooping out several inches of gray gunk from The Pit of Despair, I cannot see the bottom of the sump. Gonna close my eyes and think happy thoughts when I go exploring in there.

Welp, the sump and little flapper valve that was the finish to this disgusting quest was every bit as foul as could be hoped. Enough nightmare fodder to last several weeks.

But--hallelujah, brothers, the flapper valve is working! What's more, I FOUND an evil object stuck in the valve and holding it open, causing the problem--surprisingly, it was NOT the 30+ years of gunk, it was this:

A wooden toothpick, snarled up with a twist-tie. I held it up in one triumphant fist ala Lion King, shook it at the sky, and roared 'AH-HA!'

I hope I never have to do anything like this again. Seems I keep saying that, in this house...and I have no doubt that I will, at some point.