Something Icky This Way Comes 2: Mayo And Tuna And Meat, Oh My!

Welp, let's move on to main dishes!
Spicy Beef Cesspool Casserole, sporting a breathtaking FIVE teaspoons of bouillon in this indigestable salt bomb. Just to make sure they've added green chilies, if the sodium don't get ya the sleep dep from the late-night heartburn will.

The combination of stewed tomatoes AND taco sauce only serve to make this look like a crime scene. Obligatory Bisquick wads wonderously made even worst with the addition of cornmeal, rigidly spaced.

OK, maybe something simple. I know, Macaroni and Cheese!

Wait...what?! A freaking CUP of stuffed green olives?! And the 'cheese' is a combination of parmesan and 'grated' American cheese?! What planet did this recipe originate on?!

Well...maybe Pork Chops with Cheese Biscuits will save the day...

Or not. The meat is either slathered in melted chocolate or suffocating in a Bisquick and bouillon glaze Hell. Want to bet which it is? The impenetrable biscuithenge wall surrounding the meat like it's a ritual sacrifice is a nice touch though, props to the photog...

Sigh.
How about a sandwich? Maybe a nice Reuben Foldover...? TWO CUPS of Bisquick in this bad boy.

For extra fun tell your kids you've made homemade pizza pockets and watch them bite into a corned beef & sauerkraut nightmare of epic proportions! Just make sure to lay down a tarp first.

Mushroom Cheese Appetizers, anyone? Willing to bet that the 'extra fuss' will be in the ER around 2AM when the winning combination of sausage, onion and that whopping 3/4 of a cup of mayonnaise kicks in.

These were the kind of thing that after the party the hostess would be finding for weeks tucked into the potted plants and hidden behind the knick-knacks on the mantle.

Mayonnaise, like Jello and tuna, was a staple of the 1970's, no dish was complete without it. As proof I give you...BLT Dip!
Yeah baby...a metric ton of mayo, a touch of sour cream and bacon. A meal in itself.

And should your sodium levels fall dangerously low...never fear, scoop that glop up with potato chips!
Why was it the life expectancy rate was so low in the 1970's...?

Get ready--it's time for Mayo2: The Queasyning! See if you can spot a theme, here...
And the Bisquick is back. Hello darkness, my old friend...

Layered Tuna Bake. Or, how to combine a bunch of perfectly fine-on-their-own ingredients into the culinary equivelant of Mr. Hyde.
If it helps, just envision a hot tuna fish sandwich. With cheese.
Yeah...there it is. Lordy, where's that wine from the sandpaper bread?!

Oh...I'm sorry, that last was nothing like a hot tuna fish sandwich that's been left in the package tray of a '52 Buick for 8 hours on an August day in Death Valley.
This one is. Tuna Cheese Braid! Yay!

This hot mess clocks in with a 1/2 cup of mayonaise. Hot mayonaise, keep in mind. Willing to bet that the white wine in this recipe is for the chef to drink just to get through making this oven-baked nightmare.

Deep Dish Taco Squares.
When I was a kid I saw a Star Trek episode that featured a burrowing creature that suffered burns and looked just like this. So I think I'll reinvent this as Horta Casserole.

Only 1/2 a pound of ground beef, but between the 1/2 cup of sour cream, the 1/2 cup of mayo and the 1/2 cup of cheese, your arteries have seen their last sunset. Life finds a way, and so does Bisquick.

Only one more post to go. Hang in there.