'Bright' Doesn't Do It Justice

Yeah, okay...

So the kid and I started setting up the tree. Tonight was just the 'lights' layer, tomorrow we'll start in on the ornaments.

And that new tree topper?

Suffice to say we could stand out front, wave it, and assist small aircraft to safely land.

I mean, look at the reflection off the ceiling!

I'm gonna swap out those clear bulbs for colored ones, for sure.

Ridiculous, LOL.

The Ghosts Of Christmas Past...

Unpacking my Christmas junk this year, to say I SAVE EVERYTHING is a freakin' understatement.

I'm the queen of loving the old, ticky-tacky-crappy, ohsoshiny, unloveable stuff. The tackier, the better. The weird shit. I have a collection going back to my childhood, and regularly add to it from estate sales and thrift shops.

Firstly, dig the boxes out of the garage. Ornaments are NEVER stored in the garage, as I love my ornaments almost as much as I do my chickens. This is just the initial holiday layer, anyway. Lights, room decorations, outdoor lights...that kind of stuff.

And are you even a Christmas traditionalist if you don't keep your stuff in 9000 year old, weird boxes that you've been using since the dawn of time itself?

Box splits? Just run a few yards of packing tape around that sucker, because why get a new box? This one works fine!

But some things just can't last. This was my beloved tacky-shiny tree topper--don't ask me where I got it, some estate sale years ago. Original 1960's dohickey.

But last year not only did the base break off, but the light strand refused to light (bad wire). I thought about getting a new light strand...but then realized it has ELEVEN lights. Not 12. What monster made this thing with a weird number of lights?! I still may scavenge it for parts, tho--those finger-stabber plastic flower thingeys are too cool, as are the pink light bulbs--not to mention that gold reflector in the middle.

In Target the other day, I round the corner...and low and behold, the successor to tackycrappy tree topper!

And IT'S HUGE. When I saw it I swear I heard angels sing. So right up my alley.

And even better lit.

I may swap out the clear bulbs for colored ones, gotta try it and see how it looks. 

Not all joy, though. I had a creeping sense of dread recalling how tired I was last year when taking down the tree, and seemed to recall just shoving things in boxes to be done with it...

AUGH!!!

Yup, ball o' tree lights. Spent a merry fifteen minutes or so grumbling swear words at myself, phrases included 'You dumbshit' and other well-deserved phrases.

By the way, the white lights that have FIVE cords going to each damned light is a giant strand of programmable chaser lights that have all kinds of effects. Surprisingly, once I get the tree decorated that 50 miles or so of white cord hides pretty well.

But the prize of the day from spelunking in the Christmas boxes was for sure this thing, which I had frankly forgotten I'd owned. This was how people did things in 1981 before the days of the sequenced lights so common now. I've never used it.

The D-LITE MODEL 100!

You can tell it's modern, because they boldly put 'Disco' right out there on the front of the box, God help us.

Sweet cover art.

Let's take this ten pound bad boy out of the box, shall we?

All the cords and bits are there...

The back. Note 'Made in Taiwan ROC', which I think Taiwan stopped putting on their products around the time this thing was made. See that double-ended cord with RCA plugs?

Yeah, that's how you're gonna connect it to your stereo.

What? You don't have a stereo, much less one that uses RCA connections?

I do. An 800 pound big ol' Marantz receiver that I love to death. Seriously thinking about wiring this sucker into Christmas this year.

Also note the three H, M, L connections. To see what that's about, let's check the instructions.

Because yup, I got those TOO. And the warranty card, yowzer!

The instruction booklet is about eight pages long, fussy as hell and horribly labor intensive.

One of the first steps is to vandalize this thing and strip the cord down to bare wire so you can ram those wires into the speaker connections on the back of your receiver (this is how you hooked up speakers back in the day). The H, M, L is so you can wire your tree to light up differently in three zones! I mean, who wouldn't want that? But I especially like the part about using this thing with an AM radio. Modern technology, babies!

And yeah, it's not the most powerful thing on the planet. And today's tech is FAR superior.

But think how quaint and antiquated today's tech will be in 40 years.

In Which We Get The Entirety Of Winter, In Three Days

The day before Christmas we got a pretty fair snowstorm, it laid down around four to six inches of snow.

Most of it on our cars, of course...

Later on that day, things took a turn for the weird as the wind kicked back up again, blowing shrieking gusts that blew the snow around like a scene straight out of National Geographic show on Antarctica.

I stuck my head out just long enough to snap a couple of pictures, hollering, 'Ow, ow, OW!' as tiny ice pellets peppered my face. So ridiculously painful that I couldn't help but laugh.

The neighbor's house had a cool, wavy drift on the right hand side of the roof...

Before the entire house almost disappeared under a windy onslaught.

But how are things in the chicken yard, I hear you ask--how do the chickens feel about this weaponized snow?

I dunno, 'cause I ain't goin' out there!

We know when Mother Nature has won, and wisely decide to stay in the house and admire the sparkly tree.

The kid put her snowbound time to good use by constructing the gingerbread house kit we'd gotten her.

 

Don't all gingerbread houses feature a crime scene?

 

She says the other penguin committed the murder, but that house is looking awfully angry...and has a biblically-correct angel hiding up under the eaves.

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house...

Came the sound of two parents hauling a truly gigantic Yamaha keyboard out to the living room!

Pardon the murky pics, I took these in the dark.

 

But at last, Christmas came!

I got the husband these two pins from Roamin Bison Workshop on Etsy, and they are GORGEOUS.

 

He got me two novels by John Scalzi--although 'The Kaiju Preservation Society' is a preorder, gonna have to wait on that one...and I'm gonna have to wait on 'Redshirts' as well, since I'm 1/3 of the way through 'Going Postal' by Terry Pratchett right now. Bonus pic of the Effin Birds coffee cup I got last year.

I also got some nifty pins and stickers! A geometric dragonfly (which fits in nicely with the origami I make) by Mary Capaldi, along with a cute cicada sticker. The 'Chaotic Good' pin is from Look Human and I can't wait to wear it.

And then there's this wonderful brass spider hair fork from Bronze Smith on Etsy.

All the way from Wales, the kid got this jaw-droppingly cool Mari Lwyd coloring book from Skulls And Sheets.

 

Bonus envelope art, yay!

A can't decide which page I like best!

And lastly, I forgot to get a pic, but I got the kid this great, 'Be Crow Do Crimes' patch, also from Roamin Bison...because everyone needs a patch depicting a knife-wielding corvid, don't they?

So now, three days later, we've got another snowstorm moving in, which is supposed to dump anywhere from three to seven inches of fresh snow on top of the stuff that is still layin' around from the other day.

Looks like an excellent time to stay inside, make cookies and remark, 'Isn't that pretty!'

Merry Krampus!

 So the kid picked herself out a holiday decoration...

We heartily approve, of course. Although if you squint just right, it looks as if Krampus is wearing a set of bunny ears.

Which is still appropriate, in this house.

Meanwhile, I picked these up for anyone but me in the house to try.

It takes some serious stones to call these horrors 'old fashioned', though.

Origami On The Sly...

Welp, off to the dentist...they have their Christmas tree up, every year they have their patients who are scheduled take an ornament off their tree as a gift.

Today I'm going to sneak these two guys on to their tree and see if they notice. Heh...

I did the same thing at our local library last year, gotta get over there and add something else this year!

I've got a slew of other little doves that I hide in plastic Easter eggs to protect them against the weather and leave at the park and at other odd little places we stop by...loads of fun!

And just 'cause I like him so much and ran across him sitting on a table today, here is a very fancy turkey fellow I folded about two years ago.

So dapper--!

Merry Chickmas!

What, again?!

Yup.  Today the chickens once again refused to come out into the snow, so we helped a couple of them learn about new things.

Not that we blame them.  It's been COLD!  And all that pesky, crunchy, white stuff they dislike so.

It had really come down last night.

But the little lighted trees looked pretty!

This morning we dutifully tore paper, I got some cool stuff!  My new shirt, oddly enough, exactly follows how our chicken count went when we first got chickens.  Chicken math!

And a new cool sign for The Great Wall Of Chicken in my dining room!

I love how he's throwing a little 'peace' sign.  I also got a frame for my 'Day Of The Triffids' movie poster, it will hang in the den and be awesome.

Time to visit the chickens!  The snow and ice were hanging off the coop and run in weird and wonderful ways.

...and even somewhat menacingly. We were calling this one Ice Slug.

None of the chickens were going to come out, so we designated Tingle as Today's Volunteer, yay!
  We set her down in the snow, kerplop...

...and she just stood there.  Staring politely into space and waiting for the humans to pick her up again.

Finally she realized it wasn't gonna happen, and set off *carefully*, snowplowing through the snow.

She actually didn't go back into the coop right away and instead decided to explore a bit.

The other chickens simply stared at her like she was nuts for walking through the cold, treacherous white stuff.

Uhhh...Tingle, bad place to stand, hon.

She stood and looked at us cluelessly while we yelled, 'Look UP!  Move!  Don't stand under that thing!'

Luckily it never did plop on her little chicken head.

But just in case we knocked the excess snow off so we didn't have to rescue anyone from an avalanche and dig them out.

But what is chicken-thigh-deep snow without a banty tossed unceremoniously into it?

Skillet was SOOO NOT AMUSED.  Indignant, thy name is snowchicken.

 Stop laughing, you awful humans, you.  As soon as I wade out of here I'm gonna peck you so hard.

When we brought Pompadour out, she made a nice fluffybutt imprint in the snow.  Kinda the Cochin brand of snow angel, I guess.  Cam came running out to sympathize with her...

..and escort her right back into the coop.

Jimmy, on the other hand, was happy with being out.  Anything the humans do is A-OK with Jimmy!

After that it was time to decorate the hens for the holidays!

Cluckadorkle was feeling her Brahma side that day and being dour.

Tingle didn't care!

Although she was curious to see if it contained any food.  You can never be too careful.

Skillet was still not amused.

Jimmy, still good-naturedly playing along.

Even Pompadour thawed out a little and went with it.

But only up to a point.

Chicken Death Glare.  OK, I got it, enough was enough.