Why Humans Suck, Reason #2856

So we've been having a pretty relentless heat wave, and the chickens are suffering. That means in addition to making giant chicken popsicles of raw fruits and vegetables for them to peck at, we go out about every two hours during the worst part of the day to hose off their surroundings--and them. They hate being sprinkled, but it cools them off and keeps them alive.

The kid and I were cleaning out the garage this week and ran across an old yard sprinkler, and thought the chickens could get some use out of it.

So out in the chicken yard it went!

OF COURSE it's a weird thing--this is US, remember.

It's a flamingo that energetically flaps its 'wings' when the water goes through it, spraying water everywhere. It used to be a summer toy for the kid, but if it helps cool off the chickens and keeps them alive, they should be grateful...right?

WRONG.

They ALL immediately high-tailed it over to the extreme far side of the yard, just as far away from Pink Flailing Terror Bird as they could get. In this case, they hunkered down next to the feed shed, which has always protected them and loved them and given them food. No amount of us telling them that this was just another version of Club Flamingo, or calling in sweet, soothing tones could induce them to go near the thing.

YAH THANKS WE HATE IT.

Notice the pointed, searing stare of blame they are laying squarely on ME. They know who is responsible for this, it's just another stupid, sucky human thing the stupid, sucky humans do.

When chickens are really POed at you they will turn their backs on you and pretend you don't exist, effectively shunning you. This technique works for your return after a two week vacation (because to chickens, you gone = you DEAD and gone and they will be righteously angry at you for scaring them like that), when you offend them in some way...or when you place chicken-frightening, weirdo spasmodic objects in their yard.
It's an all-purpose, group punishment that works for anything, really. Chickens HATE change and will chastise you accordingly.

Even Chonk disapproves, and voices her displeasure at her Brahma dignity being so ruffled LOUDLY.

Meanwhile, I can't really say that I blame them. Look at the smug little grin on that smart-ass.

After a while The Pink Terror toppled over--no doubt felled by the flock's group-think mind-kill powers--and we shut the hose off. Only after it stopped flailing did they approach to begrudgingly play in the mud puddle it made.
After all, a mud puddle on a hot day IS a wonderful thing, after all...

Excuse me, I gotta go make some Chicken Apology Popsicles now.