Chickens: 1, Humans: 0

AARRRGGGHHH, DAMNED CHICKENS ANYWAY--!

Welp, it looks like y'all will be getting a bonus Chickam WITH at least one broody mama in about 14 days.
Look who successfully managed to hide a damned nest:

That's Uptown Bus, a one year old bantam buff Orpington hen. The weather warmed to the point where we didn't have to coop the chickens every night any more, and the little snot immediately snuck back behind one of the propped-open (we do this so our Nevada winds don't slam them around) coop doors, went broody and made a nest.
We didn't notice.
Mother of God, she had NINETEEN EGGS under her.

Here is the traitorous little bitch with her pre-spawn

SO SMUG

Horrified, I tried to remember when the last time we KNEW there was no nest back there. About two weeks, we decided...
I just now candled the eggs.

Seven embryos. All roughly 10-12 days along.
Are they all at the same stage of development, so they'll hatch together? Of course not. Can I really look into my kid's pleading eyes and tell her I'm just gonna toss these eggs? OF COURSE FUCKING NOT.

Sigh...
Okay. So the four chicks in the brooder box will be 5 weeks old this weekend, they will go out into the flock for good at 8 weeks. If things work out right, there will be no overlap and we can smoothly transition from older chicks going out to Bus coming in and hatching her brood...

Who am I kidding?! Bus will hatch her demon spawn before the older chicks are okay to go outside, we'll have to section off the brooder box, madly dash to and fro bringing hatching chicks + one VERY pissy broody banty hen into the house the moment hatch begins so the other hens don't try to steal the chicks, and the babies die in the unsuing henfight...

...and I can practically guarantee, because it's US, that Bus will abandon any unhatched eggs once she has some chicks, and since I DON'T KNOW exactly what stage the eggs are at so can't reliably use the ReptiPro, I'll have to take the close-to-hatch eggs she's left and place them under ANOTHER broody hen so THEY can hatch. Since we have 8 broody hens right now, at least there's that. The kid has been told to keep an eagle eye on Bus, remove any fresh eggs the other treasonous hens lay with her, and watch for peeping/pipping. Once pipping starts it's game on.

That sound you hear is me screaming in mouth-frothing frustration. DAMNED SNEAKY BANTIES, ANYWAY!

A California Fossil In Nevada

So I went out this afternoon to pass out some bread to the chickens, and noticed that Pong, our 14 year old white Frizzle mix banty hen, was not showing up for goodies--unusual for her, since she has no idea she's a living fossil and doesn't hesitate to shoulder the lesser hens out of the way and assert herself when it's goodie time.

A quick search of the nest boxes and we found her.  She didn't want to stand up, so off to the house she was whisked for Chicken Inspection.

She was nice and fat and seemed perfectly healthy, and when offered food and water wolfed it down like nobody's business.  But she still didn't want to stand, so I suspected an injury--Cam, our huge Giant Cochin/Americaunas mix roo is seriously in love with her and cannot get it through his love-addled head that she is well past the point of lay and is a dignified, retired old lady.  So he keeps jumping her and he's so darned big, he just squishes poor Pong.

Blossom, our Silkie mix hen who is currently in the house nearly recovered from Head Boink, decided to posture and growl at Pong and Pong tried to hurry away--limping on her left leg. Aha!  Suspicions confirmed. It appears to be a thigh injury, high up in her body.  Hopefully, Cam The Dunce didn't break the old lady and she'll bounce back in a few days.

Meanwhile, she's in the house (although being kept seperate from Blossom to avoid any further injury since Blossom is kinda being a dick), getting goodies, pets, warmth and loads of tv to watch.

And since she is, it's picture time! We hatched Pong in March 2003. She had an identical sister named Ping.  When they were little they looked like two little ping pong balls, so they came by their names naturally. Ping passed away a few years back so now it's just Pong.

Pong's main claim to fame is when she posed in 2003 with her hatchmates for this series of pictures--a bunch of baby chicks in a Peeps box. When everyone else eventually climbed out, Pong decided the Peeps box was lovely, thank you, and plonked down for a bit.

She's a grand old lady now, very beautiful. Daddy was a buff Frizzle bantam Cochin, mama was Moet, our Frizzle Bantam Cochin.  Pong came out mostly white with a black tail & wings, and a lovely black speckled cape.

Pong declined to stand for picture time, understandably.

Cute old lady face.

And some high-quality Chicken Glare!

She hasn't lost her touch...

After this it was time for grapes and scrambled egg...good food for healing! This pleased her somewhat and she cheered up.  Kinda.

That's better!

Bowie In The Bathtub!

...and I *don't* mean the singer. 

This Bowie is a naughty little bantam Cochin hen who insists on scratching around improperly in any mud she can find, until it coats the tips of her toes & claws and forms these weird little hard balls the size of peewee marbles.  Then she walks around with little rocks on the end of her toes angling to land at the vets' with some funky new dumb chicken thing I have to stand there and explain to my poor bewildered vet.

Ha ha, NO.  The kid hauled her into the house, where Bowie walked around the dining room floor, her toes clicking like castanets when I ran some warm water into the bathtub.

Time to soak a chicken.

We just put her in a few inches and closed the tub enclosure door and waited for the warm water to work it's magic to the tune of indignant cackling.  We stood outside the tub with arms crossed, yelling back at her that maybe now she'd learn not to make mud castanets on her toes.  Took about 20 minutes.  Mind you, this is the second time Bowie has done this.

After that, I got to scrub out the tub.  As you can see, Bowie was kind enough to jump up on the tub edge several times to really spread the filth.

Criminy, the dumbest things happen around here...