Jack

Jack

Friday, May 16, 2014

McCall's 1955 & Origami Fodder!

Went to the baby version of the big upcoming local church rummage sale the other day--this one is just a warm-up.  Scored a cool torn-up kid's book for origami paper and some lady's entire workbasket, stuffed with what appears to be vintage embroidery, applique and crewel projects from about 1920 to the mid-1950's.

In amongst the linens was a 1955 McCall's knitting magazine.  Complete with snotty models!

Ohso NOT amused to be in a knitting magazine.  Her agent swore--swore that she'd be on the cover of Vogue this month.  Right now she is envisioning how she'll disembowel him.

Also less than thrilled.  And she looks like she isn't enjoying the Jaunty Jacket of Calibar (which sounds more like a weapon in a video game).

So the photographer got smart and passed around the Fun Pills and Vodka.  Instant Happiness!

What whatwhatwhat...?!  The editor at this point was weeping into his Vodka Collins, tearing at his hair and muttering, 'Whatever, just get the damned issue on the stands!'  Seriously, folks.  NO.

I will say that I want this dress.

Aw Hell, and this one, too.

The ads were an experience in 'What the Hey...?!'

Way, WAY too happy to be knitting.  Although to be fair, this is how I envision my sister Holly knitting.  Same outfit, expression, everything.

Mrs. Smug Bitch down the block knits the modern way with a machine, laughing at the old-fashioned ladies all the while.

No self-respecting product of the time was without the go-to Terror-Inducing anthropomorphized Mascot.

Yes, FIBERGLASS CURTAINS.  Fun fact:  when I was in high school, unbeknownest to me the curtains in my room were made of this crap.  One day I decided they needed washing and tossed my nightgown into the washer to make a full load.  FULL-ON MISERY-FILLED ITCHFEST HALF AN HOUR AFTER RETIRING FOR THE EVENING.  Good God.  Screw this crap.

The farther into the back of the magazine I got, the more pathetic and odd the ads got.  'Fad of the Month' sounds like a great idea, right?  You can never have enough ticky-tack crap around to inflict on your least-liked family members.  Order a kit!

...or just scrounge in the yard for pinecones and make your own nightmares.  I'll bet under 'materials needed' they list 'one quart of cheap vodka'.

Or scrounge around under the sink and in the bathroom drawer for materials to make gifts for your children!

Both pathetic and depressing.  Stop crying, Betsy!  Just tell your friends it's Barbie's Dream Home!  Now hand mama the rest of her vodka, she has to get started on the family's Christmas gifts.


Then there was the torn-up kid's book--a cool book with awesome artwork, a real shame it was shredded.  Some of the pages were salvageable so I can reuse them in my origami.


I swear I've seen this guy at the Renaissance Faire, staggering around with his cup and crying out, 'Ale tax!' as he slobbers up and demands some of the beer you are drinking.

I love the attention to detail with the little deep-sea diver in the thing's gullet.

And let's just say right now that I have an entire coop full of these.  I recognize a broody hen when I see one!

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