Friday, November 23, 2012

Screwing With Kids...

The other night after I'd picked up my sister from the airport and delivered her to my mom's place, we were all sitting around talking.

Suddenly my kid runs into the room from the kitchen, where she'd been with her grandmother and aunt. "Mom, is it true that the holes in swiss cheese are made by MICE?!"

Now, this kind of BS and mindfuckery is something my family is famous for, if really elaborate and on a grand scale well, all the better. Her father, reading a magazine next to me, freezes. By this time we know better than to catch each other's eye and ruin things. Over my daughter's shoulder I see my sister and mother grinning hugely and nodding emphatically at me in an exaggerated manner.

Don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh.

I bite my lip and carefully put on my most exasperated face. "Now--think, honey. How else are they gonna get the holes in there? It's the cheapest, easiest way and besides that the mice get fed, too. Geez, use your head." I say in a tired tone. Her father shakes his head and gives an 'of course' flavored snort.

Family members behind her are now dancing about in silent glee as my child stares agape at me in horror.

Hold expression, maintain eye contact, continue to sell the con...

And...she buys it.
She swings around and tears off back into the kitchen, where she is torn between 'ew, mousecheese' and eating one of her favorite yummy cheeses. Eventually yummy cheese wins out, as it always must.

We never did correct her thinking, though. That'll be a day for a whole 'nuther round of fun.

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